Today started essentially- or more accurately- most "memorably" with me stepping in a large, huge dog poo. I went to open the car door for the kids to get in and I felt the 'flow' under my foot, and sure enough the dog had deposited his waste in the same place as last month.
We have a part time dog, meaning we share him with a friend. We have 2 weeks, and the other owner has 2 weeks...its a complicated situation...well not the poo part!
I have been thinking about how much time I spend thinking about the past- mostly I realize because I am trying to garner some truths about myself, or trying to re live a moment where I saw myself more distinctly...maybe?
And tonight, before I went to bed, i thought Id write down some of the things I've been thinking about lately.
I love my best friend- pictured above, and I love what we get up to together...she lets me dress her up for photoshoots, put her in crazy dresses and she lets me paint her face with wild make up.. we both agree she is my muse!
If I record these fragments here, maybe I will treasure these precious day to day happenings, and see more of myself in the present and stop hearkening back to the past...
Maybe I thought about this more because I watched "Wuthering Heights" on TV tonight...?? poor Heathcliffe is consumed by the past and tries to recreate it over and over. It where his love is- and where his life is...Cathy is dead- To me, she is figurative of the "past"- an elusive and indescribable thing which seems to carry so much weight and substance at times, even though it no longer exists. We have the present, we have the future, but we no longer have the past- at least not as a place to dwell in.
It reminds me of a Stephen King book I read once called "the Langoliers"- The Langoliers were things which ate up the past...I used wonder what happened to the "substance" of the past, and I never thought anyone else had entertained the idea.
Time for bed, xx